TOP 10 Limiting Beliefs
Most of our beliefs about ourselves, how the world works and our deservedness of great success (or not) were acquired from our experiences as children, and many of those beliefs still run our lives as adults.
Quite a few of them no longer serve us, and often cause us to unconsciously sabotage our own success. This usually ends up being blamed on "bad luck". However it is more likely to be an old belief pattern that is rearing its ugly head once more.
As you read the list, ask yourself if you believe any of these (or a variation of them) and if you do, ask yourself WHY? you believe them.
You can then do an Inquiry (see bottom of beliefs list) on each one. Question these unhelpful and unsupportive beliefs, and then LET THEM GO
- Fear of our GREATNESS
For many people this is the biggest one, though often the least discussed. What if I was really GREAT at my own business? my job? as a spouse/partner? as a parent? as a public speaker? etc. What would other people say? What would my "friends" say if I suddenly outshone them?, my income took off? I bought my dream home or my dream car etc?
For most people this is one of the most uncomfortable thoughts they can consider, and as a result holds more people back than almost anything.
As Marianne Williamson said in her book, a Return to Love (1992):
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us."
"Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you"
As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously
give other people permission to do the same.
As we're liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others
- Fear of Not being (good) ENOUGH
If you have a dream or a desire to be, have or do something, then you already have everything you need within you to achieve that dream. You already have all the skills, talents and abilities that you need
You cannot be given the dream and then not have the resources to achieve that dream
So many people hold themselves back by feeling they need to read one more book, take one more course/seminar, do one more thing before they go for their dream.
- Fear of NOT being LOVED
This is quite closely linked to the previous belief. Often people fear that if they are their true selves, people will not like and love them and they will lose their friends and end up alienated and alone.
Many people go through life trying to BE who they think other people- family, friends, employers, employees, partner etc- want them to be, in order to win love and acceptance from those people.
The most important person, however, is ourselves. It is far more important to totally LOVE & ACCEPT ourselves exactly as we are. Once we can do that, we attract to us people who also love and accept themselves and they can then love and accept us exactly as we are.
Our Angels and Guides love us exactly as we are. Children and animals do as well. We don't have to pretend to be something we are not to love ourselves and to be loved by others
- Fear of Rejection
This comes in different forms, from not asking for the date with the person you really want, to being afraid to make that all important call or being afraid to ask for the raise you deserve or not asking for the order, just in case the person says "NO".
Well, What if they do? What's the worst that could happen? Probably nothing much, yet they might say YES! In most cases, people are not rejecting you as a person, they are most likely simply not accepting what you are offering to them.
Success is a matter of ASKING, and keep ASKING until you find the right person who can help you achieve your dreams. If someone says NO to you, it's a signal to either change your strategy or ASK someone else
Look at a child who wants an ice- cream in a shop. What do they do? First they ask Mum, then Dad, then Grandma or Grandad, and if that doesn't work they change tactics. Do they eventually get their ice-cream? Frequently. And when they don't, they ask for sweets in the next shop or a cake in the next
One tip: ASK with the biggest SMILE you can and start nodding your head! It is amazing how often people will follow you and agree to your request
- Fear of FAILURE
What if I try this, and it doesn't work out? Failure is often considered to be something bad, to be avoided at all cost. However, it is the flip side of success, and in order to succeed you need to try different things- some will work out, others won't.
Most successful people don't use the word failure. In fact they consider it simply as a learning experience that showed them a way that didn't work, and try another approach, while still moving towards their dream. You can decide how long you allow yourself to feel bad or you can move on and try the next thing
OK, other people may laugh at you or talk about you for a short time. Most likely they are too busy with their own lives and problems to even notice you or anything that may have happened to you.
- Fear of SUCCESS
This is closely linked to most of the above, especially number one. People often fear the positive changes, maybe extra responsibility, that great wealth and success brings. They get caught in all the old negative programming about rich people being mean, selfish, arrogant and not spiritual and that money can only be acquired by foul means, and decide that it is not for them.
They get caught in negative thoughts of people begging for money and others taking it away from them, or what if they make it and then lose it? How much of an idiot would they look then to their friends and family?
Yet, Success and Abundance is our birthright. We were not meant to live in poverty or stress. Once we hook up to our source of Abundance, we know that money is like air- there is always more than enough for everyone, and it flows as freely as air.
The more Abundance you have, the more you can freely give to others and help them to improve their lives. Abundance is very spiritual. Money builds homes, schools, hospitals, places of worship
- I don't DESERVE/ I am not WORTHY of SUCCESS
Who decides who is worthy/deserving of success or not? It is not the Universe or our Creator because they want us to have all the abundance we can handle. Our natural state is joy and abundance.
What are the criteria for someone to be considered worthy/deserving of success? Is is family background? education? age? sex? religion?
You can CHOOSE for yourself that you are worthy of success and abundance. Claim your birthright NOW!
- Rich People are all mean, selfish, arrogant, unspiritual crooks who have made their money by cheating others
If you hold these beliefs then it is likely to be very difficult for you to allow yourself to have great wealth. If that is how you see rich people, then it is unlikely you would really want to become one.
Today there are more and more "Enlightened Millionaires" (Robert Allen & Mark Victor Hansen- The One Minute Millionaire 2003) than ever before. These people made their money by SERVING others and helping them grow in every sense of the word.
They know and understand that the more abundance they allow to flow to themselves, the more they can help others, and the quicker and easier poverty is eliminated.
- I have layers of deep rooted beliefs that hold me back
A belief is a thought and You can choose your thoughts. In any instant you can choose an empowering belief or a dis-empowering one. Why choose to hold onto old beliefs and keep bringing them back up. Let go of them
- I have to work long and hard for my money
Why? That is often a pattern that many of us saw from our parents. Yet for many people, working longer and harder does not actually produce more money or a better quality of life. Most millionaires only work long hours if they choose to, and many of them do not work particularly "hard". Wealthy people create money through creative ideas. If you follow your heart and your passions, money will follow and your means of earning money will seem like PLAY
- You need money to be able to make money, and I don't have any!
Many great fortunes have been built from nothing, sometimes less than nothing. Creativity and ideas are the starting point of riches. There are plenty of people out there, who have more money than time, and who will back good ideas.
Money is an energy and creating money begins by creating wealth in your mind. By living and experiencing great wealth, and truly knowing and believing that it is on its way to you because you deserve it. It begins by BEING wealthy and abundant in your mind, and making it so real that the physical then must catch up.
Some suggestions:- go shopping for a luxury car, your dream home, go and have a coffee or a drink in the cafe or bar where the millionaires meet or buy yourself a small item from the best store in town. Mix with the people you aspire to be like. Many of them are very pleasant, very approachable people. You will soon become like them.
The Inquiry- Question and challenge unhelpful thoughts and beliefs
Ask yourself, when you have a negative thought about yourself or someone else: e.g."that man should not have cut me off in the traffic"
- Is that statement an absolutely TRUE statement?
- How does that thought make me feel?- PEACE or STRESS?
- Can you think of one stress free reason to keep that thought?
- Who would you BE if you did not have that thought? Who would you be with the other person? (if someone else is involved)
- Now write the OPPOSITE of the old thought (i.e. that man should have cut me off in the traffic
- Which statement is more true, the old one or the new one?
- Where have I DONE that very thing in my own life? (i.e. where have you cut yourself off in your own life?
- What thought would make me feel better?
With abundant blessings.
Amanda Goldston.
Your Guide to Clear Limiting Beliefs
©Amanda Goldston 2004. All rights reserved.
